My facebook news feed has never been a bore. If its not Game of Thrones memes, medical students humor (themeddybear) then its Josephine Onyango. Hehe. She will make you laugh- if you share her views, make you lash out- if you have no thick skin and make you cry if you’re the sensitive type. So, this morning on my rare prowls on facebook, I was met with a post by, of course, Josephine and it really piqued more than my interest that I had to let you read it too.
“At age 0, my biological father denied my mother’s pregnancy.
Also at 15 I took my dad to the DO because he refused to pay for my school fees. He wanted me to be a tailor. I was a girl. That’s what girls do.
At 17 I took my uncle to the DC because he stole my dead dad’s pension which would pay for our school fees. He is my father’s brother. We were girls.
At 18 my uncle said I will never finish school because I will get pregnant. No use educating me. I am a girl.He is my mother’s brother.
When I got C+ my uncle said sarcastically that he thought I was going to make it to university. He is my father’s cousin.
At 22 a male cousin tried to sell me to fuck a dude for money.
At 23 I took my baby daddy to court because he didn’t want to support his daughter.
At 24 my grandfather refused to pay my college fees with my own mother’s money.
At 30, I met my biological father for the first time, he took me to a bar.
At 35 today, I don’t have a home to go to because I am a girl. And because I am grown. I don’t have to like people who clearly don’t like me and I am supposed to find a home for myself somewhere 😂
Yet you want to sit and tell me not all men are bad if the ones supposed to protect me never gave a fuck about me. Been fighting all my life. I will not hide the sins committed against me!
What happened to you because you are a girl? Share.”
This really got me thinking. Is there some truth in her experience? Absolutely! Its the men closest to us that end up causing more harm than good. It the relatives that rape our young girls. According the the Wangukanja Foundation survey of March 2016, nearly one in three Kenyan girls experience sexual violence before the age of 18. It is the harsh reality we exist in and what’s even more disturbing is that rape is rarely reported in Kenya due to stigma and a lack of faith in the police and the criminal justice system.
Sexual violence aside, what of emotional violence? This is the worst. The victim is made to believe that she is nothing and unworthy of love and what’s worse, some believe their perpetrators and grow with a self loathing no number of showers can wash off.
And you still wonder why the girl child empowerment is on the rise? Women have grown to know nothing but fight for their survival. We shout to be heard otherwise we our voices will barely be whispers.
Then there is the pimping of young women just because they possess a vagina and what better way will a woman rise than sleep her way to the top? Courtesy of our female socialites, our girls are growing up believing what they see on the media and how big butts are the in thing and how you ought to have a shade lighter of skin to be a real beauty, how there is power in possessing pussy. Is there though? Oscar wilde said, everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.
And if you read into why he said that you will realize that he had a point or maybe he didn’t. He was a social critic anyway.
So, is there some form of power of the pussy that if wielded correctly will make a woman formidable?
I think not.
As for the baby daddies willing to make babies but run when they cry will forever be a mistery to me. This is why the male contraceptive should be developed SOON. These same men are out here looking to marry single women, not single mothers. The same women they made mothers are ostracized and accused of foul morals and that they should keep their legs closed by women and men alike. The same baby daddies who shy from supporting their babies or buying some rubber before asking the woman to go pop some magic pills.
As for the women who get pregnant to trap the man, we see you! Yours is a tale for another dawn.
Lastly, as a man, where do you fall?
Are you the chauvinistic, domineering one who believes that women, starting from the ones in your life, have no capability to amount to something? Or the one that defends and protects them from the men out to shame them?
Mob psychology or dependence?